HATE MEDITATION

August 18, 2017

Guess what?

I am obsessed with figuring out the human mind and why we do, say, act and think the way we do. Why? Because I have suffered from depression, sadness, anger, pity and relentless negative self-talk most of my life. That shit sucks.  

Daddy issues.  

This morning, as I listened to yet another self-help podcast, I realized how to meditate if you hate meditation. 

Now, we all know meditation is the new Kale and is about to be as cool as yoga pants and coconut coffee here in the US. If you are not on board yet, get ready. It is coming. Just breathe and think of nothing. Easy. What? 

I was delivering Meals on Wheels this morning and listening to a podcast that I will not mention for fear of being called a pansy for the rest of my life and it hit me... 

The guest was Tony Robbins who is simply the greatest human being alive. I won't tell you who was interviewing him for fear of being called a pansy for the rest of my life as aforementioned. What a great word, aforementioned. I probobly used it wrong. 

Now, I have seen Tony a few times now and am a full-fledged cult member. I have heard him explain his meditation practice multiple times. However, it finally clicked this morning. 

Like me, and you, and normal humans, he can't sit still and "quiet the mind" for more than 3 seconds. He is also 12 feet tall and couldn't cross his legs if you broke them. I am 5"10" with the legs of a 9-year-old girl. No idea why I just included that info but feel closer to you now that you know.

What he does, and I do, is "Meditate" for 10 minutes in the morning. He calls this priming. You can YouTube "Tony Robbins Priming" and watch a half billion videos about it. 

Or read the next three sentences.

1) He thinks/focuses on three things he is grateful for the first three minutes.

2) He focuses on and visualizes three goals he wants to complete or accomplish in the next 6 to 12 months for three minutes.

3) He thinks about how he can love more for the next three minutes. 

4) He goes out and makes billions of dollars. 

Well, I guess that is 9 minutes so he is a liar. I'm leaving the cult. 

Here is the small print:

3 minutes of gratefulness/gratitude - you can't be stressed, depressed or angry and grateful at the same time. Try it.

3 minutes on goals - you visualize having completed your goals in your mind and make it as real as possible so you feel it in your body and then say thank you as if it has already happened. This tricks your subconscious and your body into thinking it is real. This pulls you towards the goals because the universe is one crazy unicorn and when you are in alignment the magic woo woo just works. 

3 minutes on Love - Love is actually an action. You have to actually put effort into "loving". So you think about and visualize ways you can love more.  Your friends, your wife, your self, your parrot, your feet, your librarian, your President (whoa...).

There you go. Welcome to ultimate happiness. You are welcome. 

Hire me as your life coach. Email me at trey@iamtrey.com if you need help. We all need help.   

Trey