33 QUESTIONS: 101 YEAR OLD MAN
October 7, 2018
On my last 30-day-list, I added something about meeting someone over 100 years old. I wasn’t sure how or what, but I knew I could learn a lot from someone who has seen that much in one lifetime.
Ilene set up a meeting with Ralph and we met him in the lobby of his senior living center, the Renaissance on Peachtree. He was well dressed in a nice multi-color knit shirt perfectly tucked into fitted pants. He has almost as much hair as I do and an impressively strong handshake.
After a bit of awkward conversation in the lobby, we went to his apartment for the interview. We started with small talk and I learned he was born in Canada in 1917. He met his wife of 50 years when he was a teenager. She waited for him during his four-year deployment in World War II. After the war, they moved to Atlanta. They shopped at Sears, which is now Ponce City Market or where I buy overpriced coffee. His wife, upon seeing colored and white fountains, didn’t understand what that meant as she remarked both of the fountains were white. 1996 was the worst year of his life. His wife died after suffering a stroke at a Hawks game and he was in a car accident on his way to the hospital to see her. He doesn’t have a favorite number or color.
I wrote a list of 33 questions on a legal pad and figured I would let him pick a number and ask the question associated with that number. He wasn’t quite sure why some strange guy was in his apartment with a bunch of questions, but he sat quietly with perfect posture, and answered me. With quick and succinct responses. No superfluous words. I don’t know what superfluous means.
#5: What is the key to happiness?
Luck.
That was it. No explanation. No other response. Just luck. He answered and sat there with a smile on his face.
#14: What is the last time you cried?
Oh, I don’t know. I’m a crier. I cry during sad movies.
#21: If you could do anything in the world, without any limitations, what would it be?
Walk. I used to love walking, but I had a heart attack in 2011. I now have six stents in my heart and get tired too easily. All I can do now is push-ups.
Push-ups?
Yeah. I do 75 push-ups every morning when I wake up.
What? This man, who is 56 years older than me, does 75 push-ups in a ROW every morning. I can do approximately 10.
#8: Who was your favorite president?
Hmmm…let me see. Probably Kennedy. Kennedy was a rascal; Carter was not my favorite.
I asked a few more questions. I learned he loves peanut butter, makes his own breakfast and lunch, and reads four hours a day. He just stopped driving at the age of 100, but has a driver’s license that is valid through 2025. His favorite place to visit was the Galapagos Islands. His favorite hobby is painting. He goes to sleep every night at 11:30pm after watching the news and wakes up every morning around 8:00am. He has a drink every night before dinner. He prefers Seagram’s VO, H&H, or Vodka. He also enjoys the happy hours at the Renaissance on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday nights. Maybe I’ll go back and work as the bartender. Actually, I will go back and work as a bartender.
#24: What is the meaning of life?
Oh…I’m not a philosopher. I have no idea. To live?
#13: What is the definition of love?
There’s not one.
I asked him questions about how to have a happy marriage. He said you have to think of the other person more than yourself. He also said his marriage was 95% ups with only 5% downs. He misses his wife every day. That is a lot of days. 8,032 days to be exact. He loved her cooking – especially her meatloaf. They always went on one dinner date a week. For 50 years.
I asked him how he deals with aging. He said some people are optimists and some are pessimists. He said people can always find things to complain about if you look for them, but nothing is perfect. His advice was to take what you get and make the best of it.
Not bad.
He doesn’t have children and said he doesn’t have a best friend.
Ilene asked him what keeps him going.
I’m deteriorating. I’m slowing down. My time is limited, so I’m hoping to hold on for a little while longer.
My final question…#18: Is there a God?
I have questions.
Silence. Nothing more. Nothing less. Just a smile.
I followed up and asked if he thinks there is a higher power or something greater than us that created existence.
I keep hoping that’s true.
Another smile.
While he didn’t say a lot, his words had a profound effect on me. Quit overthinking things. Life is pretty simple. Don’t complain. Make the best of what you’ve got.
Bonus question #4: What is the best gift to give someone?
Love.
Well, Ralph…I love you.
Trey
